Sunday, March 11, 2007

1/2 the man.....

My daughter (she apparently said enough if enough and was born the day after the last post)is asleep in her aquarium bouncy while my son is playing a Thomas the Train memory game. Gone by the wayside, at least for the moment are 6 a.m. departures for long runs on the weekend in favor of ginormous pots of coffee and intermittent sleep.

So my daughter is born and within 3 weeks i am sitting in the waiting room of a urloligist with a bunch of old people with a littany of issues (leaking, incontinence, etc) while i wait to talk to him about "sterilization". Yup, two and theory is that the children can not outnumber the parents and at least you can play man to man defense on them.

Consult goes something like this, DR: "How many kids do you have?" ME:"2, a boy and a girl" DR: "Pefect, well the surgery takes about 20 minutes, you can drive yourself, return to normal activities in a day or two, and schedule whenever. See you soon."

So with my head down and tail between my legs, i go up to the receptionist. Backgroud: It is tuesday, and i have the rest of the week off for mid-winter break. Receptionist: "How about Thursday at 8 a.m.?"
ME: "You mean this thursday?"
Receptionist: "Yes. You will be the first one of the day."
ME: "okay, i guess"

Forward to Thursday:
Eating my last meal as a virile and potent i drive myself to the doc's. He is waiting eagerly and ushers me into a normal patient room. During the "turning me into a blank shooting guy" process we talk about running and what are the odds of ever producing another. Says as long as I come back, guess about 50% of guys never come back and say whatever happens, happens, and get my 2 "clear" samples then i should be good to go. Damm right, i am coming back....i want to medically known as "shooting blanks" chance for another.

20 minutes later, he says "we'll see you in 8 weeks. Go home and rest". No bags of peas needed, just copious amounts of tylenol and nagging "knee to the balls" ache for a few days.

Now all i need to do is have my samples pass, and find a double baby jogger...Whatever happened to the early morning, still kind of hungover, long runs where a guarenteed nap awaited me...LIFE

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